Before anything else is established, let us first go over one thing. Women are not delicate flowers. They do not need you to do anything for them. They are perfectly capable human beings who are able to handle their own problems. Life isn't a fairy tale; women aren't dainty maidens waiting for a knight in shining armor to come along and make everything okay. But, they certainly wouldn't mind if one did.
A lot of men have the notion that women need a man to open jars, do yard work, and fix anything that may be broken. This is not true; a woman does not need a man the same way a man does not need a woman. However, when a man and a woman share a connection, something happens on a biological level and suddenly the man and woman want to do things for each other for completely and utterly selfless reasons. As a man, you should enjoy the company of a woman. Her feminine body is a perfect contrast to your masculine one, and just having a woman around should make any man feel better. This however, does not mean she wants to give you sex. Just because you have a penis and she has a vagina, it does not mean that somehow they were destined to fit together like puzzle pieces. If you are a true man and treat her well; with respect, patience, kindness, and care, then maybe she will want to have sex with you.
But make no mistake, no man should ever pressure a woman to have sex. A man who does such a thing is no longer a man. He is a little boy trapped inside a man's body, thinking that because he bought a woman dinner, she now owes him something. A woman will never owe you sex, regardless of what you do for her. As a matter of fact, looking at the bigger picture, no one will ever owe you anything, regardless of what you do for them. Let's say your neighbor's name is Jim, and you helped him move. Does he have to help you move? No, he doesn't. Would it be the decent thing to do? Yes. But that doesn't mean he is obliged to do it. Being a man means realizing that sometimes you do things for people and don't get anything in return. Men should always gauge whether or not something is worth doing based off the idea that you will never get anything in return. Being selfless is a good thing, but not always.
But back to the topic at hand, there are those (women) who would take advantage of kindness and desperation by letting men buy them meals and jewelry with the hopes that they will get to bed her later. While this is wrong on the woman's part, the man also shares fault. One, no man should ever assume the way to a woman's bed is with money and gifts. Two, all men should be able to recognize when they are being played. Three, dinner and jewelry? Be original. These types of women do not deserve your respect and should be treated in accordance as such.
Let us assume, for the sake of this post, that the man and woman are both decent people who would not try to take advantage of the other. They do not know each other that well, and would like to get to know each other better. How should a man treat this type of woman? In general, all men should act like gentlemen towards women they do not know. Again, while women don't need doors held open for them or umbrellas held up for them, it is just the decent thing to do.
That does not mean that a gentlemen should be gentle. Do not be a pushover and just blindly follow everything she says. Be a man; have your own thoughts and opinions about things. If you disagree with her, tell her you disagree, but don't start telling her your way is better or that you are right; simply state your point of view and move on. If you don't like something she is doing, let her know. Whether she stops or not is out of your control; you cannot make her do anything she doesn't want to do, but it cannot hurt to express how you are feeling.
As stated above, women are not delicate flowers that wither and fall apart at the slightest touch. Be a decent human being. Be kind and courteous; have manners. Treat those around you, who deserve it, with respect. But more importantly, treat yourself with respect. You do not need a woman any more than a woman needs you. Anything she can do for you, you can do for yourself. If a man wants others to respect him, he must first respect himself, flaws and all. Why would a woman want to be with a man she does not respect?
A real man does not need a woman in his life for anything, but of course, a real man would prefer to have the love of a good woman than to go without it, because a feminine presence is universally enjoyed by all men. Not all men enjoy it for the same reasons, but a true man enjoys it for what it really is; a warm touch, a gentle smile, and a loving embrace. And really, could you ask for anything more?
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
A Man's Fitness Part One: Laying the Foundation
In today's modern world, fitness may not seem all that important. Sure, you'll probably never have to run down a deer in order to eat, or repeatedly lift a heavy club to defend your home, but that does not mean that fitness is irrelevant in a man's life. On the contrary, fitness is just as relevant in today's world as it was thousands of years ago. Heavy items still need to be lifted, women need to be carried over thresholds, and long distances need to be traveled on foot. A lot of people say that intelligence is more important than fitness, because it has a higher likelihood of earning the average person more money over time whilst also allowing them to navigate social situations with deft skill. Yet, think about this; what good is intelligence if you are in such poor health you have trouble doing even the most simple of physical tasks? Fitness correlates to health, and health usually correlates to a longer life.
Not only will you live longer, but you will feel better about yourself. Show me a man in great physical shape, and I will show you a man who is confident about himself. And to be clear, great physical shape does not mean marathon-runner thin or bulging biceps. It means being able to move your body weight through space, being able to run a couple miles, being able to perform a repetitive physical task such as splitting firewood, and being able to lift moderately heavy weights with ease. A man should be able to do these things, because they are necessary in our world, modern or not. Splitting firewood with an axe is a much more efficient way of generating firewood and cheaper as well than modern hydraulic firewood splitters. Why not buy your firewood? Because you're a man, dammit. And you should be able to do it for a half-hour with relative ease. There are things in this world that most men will want to do, such as summit a mountain, or swim the English Channel, or ride a dirt-bike, or run with the bulls, or play a sport. All these things require certain physiological fitness levels to do, and are dangerous if one does not meet the physiological fitness levels.
And even if your physiological aspirations are less lofty, a higher level of fitness equals less pain due to enhanced strength, enhanced bone density, and enhanced tendon and ligament strength. Your body will be able to handle the stresses of life with greater ease and therefore, you will not feel the stress as much or at all. And even if you have no physiological aspirations, studies show that exercising makes one smarter. Also, more attractive people have a higher chance of earning a higher income. Guess what makes anyone more attractive? Being in shape and looking like you're in shape.
Every man should be able to do the following physiological items:
Not only will you live longer, but you will feel better about yourself. Show me a man in great physical shape, and I will show you a man who is confident about himself. And to be clear, great physical shape does not mean marathon-runner thin or bulging biceps. It means being able to move your body weight through space, being able to run a couple miles, being able to perform a repetitive physical task such as splitting firewood, and being able to lift moderately heavy weights with ease. A man should be able to do these things, because they are necessary in our world, modern or not. Splitting firewood with an axe is a much more efficient way of generating firewood and cheaper as well than modern hydraulic firewood splitters. Why not buy your firewood? Because you're a man, dammit. And you should be able to do it for a half-hour with relative ease. There are things in this world that most men will want to do, such as summit a mountain, or swim the English Channel, or ride a dirt-bike, or run with the bulls, or play a sport. All these things require certain physiological fitness levels to do, and are dangerous if one does not meet the physiological fitness levels.
And even if your physiological aspirations are less lofty, a higher level of fitness equals less pain due to enhanced strength, enhanced bone density, and enhanced tendon and ligament strength. Your body will be able to handle the stresses of life with greater ease and therefore, you will not feel the stress as much or at all. And even if you have no physiological aspirations, studies show that exercising makes one smarter. Also, more attractive people have a higher chance of earning a higher income. Guess what makes anyone more attractive? Being in shape and looking like you're in shape.
Every man should be able to do the following physiological items:
- 100 body-weight squats
- 20 pull-ups
- 20 dips
- 50 push-ups
- 50 horizontal rows
- 5 handstand push-ups
- 25 jump squats
- Run 2 miles
- Sprint 100 meters
- Climb a 50 foot rope
- Swim one mile
- Deadlift 225#
If you can do all of these, you are in-shape and hopefully you don't stop there; always set higher and higher fitness goals and continue to try to improve. A man who stops trying to improve himself, stops being a man.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
A Man's Appearance Part One: Facial Hair
Facial hair and manliness go hand and hand; it is something that only men (and a few unfortunate women) can grow. In preparation for this post, I asked most of the women that I know whether or not they preferred a man with facial hair or a man to be clean shaven. While the results did vary quite a bit and a few were on the fence, overall, it appears that women prefer men with facial hair.
Some preferred a five o'clock shadow, while others stated that it scratched their faces and they preferred a longer-length beard. Some liked a goatee while others liked a bit of scruff. But the one main factor linking all of the facial hair styles is that the women always preferred the facial hair maintained. Letting your facial hair grow and not keeping it neat makes you look, in one word, ridiculous. The women that I talked to did not even consider taking a man who had messy facial hair seriously, because if he couldn't even maintain his facial hair, how could he maintain a relationship?
I'm not writing this post to tell men that they should grow facial hair or should comply with what their significant other wants. The point of this post is that, in the end, it is your face and therefore your hair. You have absolute control over it. Do whatever you think will look best on you. Do not be afraid to seek out the opinions of women you know, but do not just blindly follow their advice. If they prefer you clean shaven, but you like the way you look with a beard, go with the beard. It is your happiness and satisfaction that you should be worried about. A word of warning: a man will always look manlier with well-maintained facial hair (barring mustaches of the pedophile or Hitler variety). It is evolutionary and indisputable.
Appearance is one of the first things that can give or take away confidence in men. Without confidence, a man isn't really a true man. In order to be a man, you need to be confident in your decisions and your actions. Will you approach it with a confident surety, or will you hesitate from uncertainty? So grow that facial hair and keep it well-maintained gentlemen. I guarantee you will feel more manly and more sure of yourself. It may feel strange at first, and some people may not like it, but who cares about those people. You are a man, dammit, and men grow facial hair. Life is coming for us all; how will you greet it?
Some preferred a five o'clock shadow, while others stated that it scratched their faces and they preferred a longer-length beard. Some liked a goatee while others liked a bit of scruff. But the one main factor linking all of the facial hair styles is that the women always preferred the facial hair maintained. Letting your facial hair grow and not keeping it neat makes you look, in one word, ridiculous. The women that I talked to did not even consider taking a man who had messy facial hair seriously, because if he couldn't even maintain his facial hair, how could he maintain a relationship?
I'm not writing this post to tell men that they should grow facial hair or should comply with what their significant other wants. The point of this post is that, in the end, it is your face and therefore your hair. You have absolute control over it. Do whatever you think will look best on you. Do not be afraid to seek out the opinions of women you know, but do not just blindly follow their advice. If they prefer you clean shaven, but you like the way you look with a beard, go with the beard. It is your happiness and satisfaction that you should be worried about. A word of warning: a man will always look manlier with well-maintained facial hair (barring mustaches of the pedophile or Hitler variety). It is evolutionary and indisputable.
Appearance is one of the first things that can give or take away confidence in men. Without confidence, a man isn't really a true man. In order to be a man, you need to be confident in your decisions and your actions. Will you approach it with a confident surety, or will you hesitate from uncertainty? So grow that facial hair and keep it well-maintained gentlemen. I guarantee you will feel more manly and more sure of yourself. It may feel strange at first, and some people may not like it, but who cares about those people. You are a man, dammit, and men grow facial hair. Life is coming for us all; how will you greet it?
Saturday, August 17, 2013
A Man's Skills Part One: Foreign Language
Language is what separates humans from other animals. While other animals do communicate, they lack our ability to speak. This ability has allowed humans to create a wealth of languages throughout the ages. While most are not in use today, in 1996 there were 6,703 languages still in use. A large majority of people around the world only speak one or two languages. There are factors that determine how many languages someone will speak. The main one would be location. For example, if you grew up in Belgium, you would have to know how to speak French, but they also speak Dutch in part of the country, and German in another part of the country. Therefore, there is a good chance that you would be exposed to these three languages at an early age and would learn them. Another example is the Caribbean island of Aruba. The official language that is taught is Dutch. However, they are also taught English, are exposed to Spanish and Portuguese, and have their own bastard language that is composed of the previous four languages. Therefore, the average Arubian speaks four or five languages. Are they any different than you or I? No, not really. They just had the benefit of growing up in a place that was exposed to a multitude of cultures.
A man should always strive to better himself, and part of that means learning a language other than your native one. Fluency is not the priority; basic conversational competence is. When traveling in another country, a man should always try to use the native language as much as possible. Yes most people in other countries speak English, but that is not the point. When someone attempts to speak someone else's language, it is a sign of respect to them, their culture, and their country.
You don't need a lot; a simple hello or an excuse me in a foreign language is enough to cause the native to warm to you very quickly. As an example, I was in Aruba this past summer, and their native language is Papiamento. In the hotel were a few guidebooks with the most common sayings. Things like hello, good bye, thank you, no, yes, good night, and so on. It took less than ten minutes to learn all the words. So for the entire vacation, I would say "danke" instead of thank you, or "bon nochi" instead of good night. The locals were thrilled and instantly smiled and showed me gratitude for acknowledging their culture. This in turn, made me want to use the language more and to eventually learn it some day.
However, if you aren't traveling any time soon, start to learn a foreign language anyways. French or Dutch are both good languages to start with as they are very similar to English, but if you have been wanting to learn Mandarin, choose that instead. You will get out of it what you put in, so choose a language you're enthusiastic about. After learning a second language, subsequent languages will be easier to learn. Choosing languages based on how many people you can communicate with can be a very efficient method. But choosing which language would be most beneficial for you personally would probably be the wisest choice, unless you think you can competently learn more than one language at a time, which I advise against if you're just starting out learning a second language.
Speaking a foreign language isn't just about being able to get where you want to go in a foreign landscape. It's not about being sure that you're ordering the right thing at a restaurant. And it is not about casually having a conversation with a local. Speaking a foreign language is about knowing and learning a culture and a way of life that is different from yours. It will change your perspective of life and allow you to learn things about the country you're visiting that you would not have learned had you not known any of the native language. And in the grand scheme of things, knowledge is the most vital tool in a man's life. So before you travel to a country where they speak a language other than your own native one, take a month or so and get to know the language and the culture; your travels will be that much better because of it, and maybe you'll learn a little about yourself in the process. In the end, knowing who we are is what is most important in life.
A man should always strive to better himself, and part of that means learning a language other than your native one. Fluency is not the priority; basic conversational competence is. When traveling in another country, a man should always try to use the native language as much as possible. Yes most people in other countries speak English, but that is not the point. When someone attempts to speak someone else's language, it is a sign of respect to them, their culture, and their country.
You don't need a lot; a simple hello or an excuse me in a foreign language is enough to cause the native to warm to you very quickly. As an example, I was in Aruba this past summer, and their native language is Papiamento. In the hotel were a few guidebooks with the most common sayings. Things like hello, good bye, thank you, no, yes, good night, and so on. It took less than ten minutes to learn all the words. So for the entire vacation, I would say "danke" instead of thank you, or "bon nochi" instead of good night. The locals were thrilled and instantly smiled and showed me gratitude for acknowledging their culture. This in turn, made me want to use the language more and to eventually learn it some day.
However, if you aren't traveling any time soon, start to learn a foreign language anyways. French or Dutch are both good languages to start with as they are very similar to English, but if you have been wanting to learn Mandarin, choose that instead. You will get out of it what you put in, so choose a language you're enthusiastic about. After learning a second language, subsequent languages will be easier to learn. Choosing languages based on how many people you can communicate with can be a very efficient method. But choosing which language would be most beneficial for you personally would probably be the wisest choice, unless you think you can competently learn more than one language at a time, which I advise against if you're just starting out learning a second language.
Speaking a foreign language isn't just about being able to get where you want to go in a foreign landscape. It's not about being sure that you're ordering the right thing at a restaurant. And it is not about casually having a conversation with a local. Speaking a foreign language is about knowing and learning a culture and a way of life that is different from yours. It will change your perspective of life and allow you to learn things about the country you're visiting that you would not have learned had you not known any of the native language. And in the grand scheme of things, knowledge is the most vital tool in a man's life. So before you travel to a country where they speak a language other than your own native one, take a month or so and get to know the language and the culture; your travels will be that much better because of it, and maybe you'll learn a little about yourself in the process. In the end, knowing who we are is what is most important in life.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
A Man's Gear Part One: The Axe
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| Hults Bruk Double Bit Axe |
In today's modern world, an axe is still a necessary and vital tool if you own a home that has a decent-sized yard; there are still some things that an axe excels at where other tools fail. Every man should have a well-made axe and every man should use an axe on a regular basis. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Most men do have axes, but they are stored in a shed or garage, their steel rusting away and their wood drying out.
Taking care of an axe is not a full-time job, nor is it a baby, but it does need to be cared for a little. The wooden handle should be oiled in between uses so that the wood does not dry out. The axe head should be sharpened and oiled to keep its edge keen and to keep the metal from rusting. This is especially necessary if you plan on hanging the axe in your home as a decoration. Whilst an axe makes a brilliant wall decoration, it should also show wear, so take it down off the wall for a few hours a week and use it, then hang it back up. You'd be hard-pressed to find a more manly wall decoration than an axe, in my own humble opinion.
Choosing an axe is a decision based off of personal preferences depending on axe head designs, handle lengths, axe head weight, and materials used. That being said, any traditional axe head with a hickory handle will serve its user through years of abuse before succumbing to overuse. Be careful to purchase an axe that is functional instead of simply just aesthetically pleasing. Hickory may not have the same beauty as black walnut, but it is a far superior wood for the abuse and shock it would be put through when attached to an axe head.
When choosing a well-made axe, try to purchase from countries that have a history associated to it. America, Canada, and Northern European countries (Sweden, Finland, and Norway) immediately come to mind when thinking about axes. That isn't to say axes made in countries other than these are inferior; but it is a very safe assumption that axes made in these countries are very well made. When purchasing an axe, buying brand new is not necessary. As stated previously, well-made axes will take a fair share of punishment before they break down. Garage sales are a fantastic place to pick up an axe for a low price. However, prepare before purchasing to make sure that you are buying a well-made axe. A yard sale axe will most likely need sprucing up, but that task should be a meditative one. However, if you are deciding to purchase a new axe, I would recommend Gransfors Bruks or John Neeman. You can see videos on YouTube of craftsmen making John Neeman tools and it very much makes one recall the days when all things were made by hand.
The question is, why? Why swing an axe every week? Why did I choose axes as the topic to begin this series and blog? For the very simple reason that axes are inherently manly. Of course, women can swing axes too, and just as well as men. Then again, men can also knit, and do it just as well as women. Yet, swinging an axe is a manly endeavor and knitting is a feminine one; there is no insult in saying so to either sex. The way mankind has evolved has simply made axes masculine and knitting feminine. And, of course, this blog is predominantly aimed at men, though women can also benefit by reading.
Using an axe is not about the destructive power of men; it is about being in nature and experiencing nature firsthand. It is about using your body in a productive way to accomplish a task for a reason. It could be exercise, firewood, or making wooden furniture. There is no pleasure to be gained in making nature bend to your will, or other such nonsense. Yet there is a very real need for thinning forests or eliminating dead trees, all which has to do with ecological reasons. Doing these things simply makes the forest more vibrant and healthy, whilst also protecting it from future harm.
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| Made in Sweden |
Imagine you're holding an axe in a forest. You can feel the warmth of the sun's rays as they dance across your skin. The wind picks up and tree branches begin to sway, causing the rays of the sun to shift. You feel the grain of the hickory wood in the palms of your hands and against your fingertips where it has been worn down smooth due to many hours of use. You feel the solidness and heft of the axe, consorting with gravity to pull your arms down. But you resist and heft it to your shoulder, the wood handle now resting against the muscles of your upper back. You take a deep breath and smell the forest; pine, dirt, and animal musk fill your nostrils. You hear the wind moving through the branches and the trees and hear songbirds perched high above you. And then you begin to walk.
You're unsure which direction you're going or where it'll lead you, but you create your own road through that forest. You begin to perspire as the sun begins its descent in the sky. The wind sweeps through the forest again, shaking the leaves and creating a cooling sensation on your skin as it crashes into the drops of sweat. You wipe your palms on your shirt to dry them off. In time you come upon an oak tree. You know that it once stood majestically, but like all living things must, it died. You lift your axe and plant your feet. You rotate your body away from the tree and then explosively rotate towards the tree, your arms trailing your torso and applying force as well. You hear a dull thump as the metal blade bites into the dead wood. A shock reverberates throughout your body. Dust and particles that had settled on the tree are dislodged and illuminated by the rays of sunlight. This goes on for quite sometime until your persevere, and something that took centuries to grow, comes crashing down in an hour or so.
You lose track of time and notice that the sun is low on the horizon and is cloaking the forest in a sepia hue. Your shirt is wet with sweat and your whole body is dirty; you are covered in particles of dirt and pieces of wood. You take a deep breath and smell the forest again. It smells the same; nothing has changed. But you have; you smell like the forest. And with that, you heft the axe up to your shoulder once again, turn around, and walk back down the path you made.
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